The Bear, the Caucasian, and in the Closet
by DarkSilence47
Summary: Young South Korea finds a wardrobe England put in China's house. Read as he and his brothers venture into the mystical land of Soviet Russia. Did I say Russia? I meant Narnia.
1. Chapter 1

The Bear, the Caucasian, and in the Closet

a.k.a. - How the East Asian Brothers Ended Up in 'Narnia'

...

(Full) Summary: (Please ignore how many eras they are in at the same time) A screwed up Narnia Hetalia crossover. Young South Korea finds a wardrobe England put in China's house. Read as he and his brothers venture into the mystical land of Soviet Russia. Did I say Russia? I meant Narnia. There they meet other countries, er, magical creatures, and fight against the evil forces of the Caucasian Witch.

Includes: Racist thoughts, bad language, and insulting stereotypes. But if you didn't like this kind of stuff already, you wouldn't be reading this fanfiction, now would you?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here but what the not-owned-by-me characters say. And not even all of that. If I did, would it be on fanfiction? I don't think so.

...

As told by: Professor Arthur Kirkland

To a certain 'darling' child. In hope you will finally learn the importance of a family sticking together. And finally pay me back that money you owe me, bloody wanker!

...

Chapter 1: Yong Soo Looks Into a Wardrobe

Now gather around my children and listen closely, as I tell you the story of four Asian brothers as they fight against the evil forces of the Caucasian Witch.

It was years and years ago, when the four countries (well, three and a territory/colony/special administration region/confusing place/a place that is still totally part of the Great Britannica) were in the same house that young South Korea found a particular wardrobe. A wardrobe of magic and amazement. A wardrobe of adventure and wonder. A wardrobe I did not purposely put in China's house for the sake of my own entertainment.

It had started out as any other normal day. China and Hong Kong were writing Chinese characters, Japan was ignoring everyone by reading his manga, and South Korea was trying to get their attention.

"You know what we should do? Explore the house!"

"Why?" asked China. "We've lived here for thousands of years, aru. I doubt there's anything new to see."

"But ever since England's came over to colonize, he's put in so much new stuff! Can we see if he's added anything worth looking at? Or at least breaking? We can get our small revenge on him for colonizing you!" he replied, directing it towards China and Hong Kong.

"Can't you do that by yourself?" Japan asked coldly, mad that someone interrupted the reading of his 2–D porn.

"And besides, we don't want to make Mr. England angrier. He already made my eyebrows bushier." Hong Kong said, shivering.

"But he has been such a wonderful country to us, aru." China commented. "I mean, he's given us lots of food, and taught us many things. Plus he's a rather handsome chap. I wonder if he's free on-"

...

"England, I doubt he'd say anything like that about you. I doubt anyone would say anything like that about you. Only the British say 'chap'. And have you seen your eyebrows?"

"Shut up, France! I'm trying to tell a story to my kid."

"Our kid, mother. ("Don't call me mother! You're my brother, you creeper!") And tell it to him right. Little America is already starting to get a bit bigheaded from all those fake compliments you give him. And I bet you'd like a more entertaining story about more than England's sexy eyebrows, wouldn't you?"

"Of course! I prefer the ones about me being the hero though…"

"But that's what England's stories been about for the past week, eh. Can't we have a change, America?"

"What? Did you hear something France?"

"No."

"You guys never do…"

"Let me continue the bloody story already!"

...

After much persuading on South Korea's part, the brothers went wandering about the house. They went to many of the rooms, to find where there used to be some of China's or Hong Kong's stuff, English ones were in their place.

Even if it shut Korean up, the two Chinese men felt uncomfortable watching their little brother praise the artwork of their ruler. Even if he was an absolutely invincible Briti-

...

"England!"

"Okay, okay, you guys. I'll leave out their ever so kind thoughts about me. I'll make the story historically inaccurate just for you."

"Like it wasn't already."

"The comic was politically incorrect in the first place. I think you're just making it worse."

"And don't make any more obscure references to your character songs. It's not funny."

"Fine, you bloody wankers."

...

"Hey, let's go in this room!" Korea yelled while dragging Japan by the arm to the next room, causing him to gone into his, "DAH!" mode which meant someone was touching him.

"What's so special about this?" Japan asked after recovering as the elder two joined him in the room which merely had a wardrobe in it.

"Look!" Korea said while opening the wardrobe's door. "I'm in the closet!" he joked as he climbed inside, keeping the door slightly ajar.

The other three Asians stared at the wardrobe in disgust. In the several seconds that passed, they all managed to think along the lines of, 'He is a disgrace to his own people, and I don't even think like his people,' or, 'This is why he was banned from the anime.' But they were really surprised when Korea came out (of the closet).

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long. But I just met this nice faun named Mr. –"

"What do you mean?" China asked, confused.

"You mean how long it took you to come out of the closet? Don't worry, we already knew." Japan said.

"No," Korea chuckled, the poor boy not understanding Japan's words were not a joke. "I just came back from Narnia! I guess it's the wardrobe from England's story."

"What story? I don't think that was written yet…" Hong Kong said.

"So you thought you were so far in the closet, you went to Narnia? Yong Soo, you were at the front of the closet, with the door swung wide open. Trust me." Japan said bluntly.

"Narnia…isn't that a place in Italy, aru?"

"You guys! Narnia is a beautiful land full of snow, lampposts, and fauns with funny accents. You have to come in with me!"

The reaction of each brother was different. China just burst out laughing, Hong Kong stared at him like he was crazy (well, crazier than usual). Japan, however, said, "Are you saying that there's a portal to Russia's place? 'Cause I thought I found a passage to Korea back at my place too."

"You did! Remember that tunnel you told me was unnecessary to build one? Well I-"

"Japan, you've been uncharacteristically loud in this story." China interrupted. "Or maybe I should say you've been acting more like when you were a bratty little chibi, aru. How come?"

"I don't like you guys." Japan said blatantly, and walked out of the room nonchalantly. Ooo, that rhymed.

"Ah, Japan's such a middle child. And a backstabber." Hong Kong said.

"Literally." China said while rubbing the scar Kiku had given to him.

...

"You know, I've noticed that all the island countries are middle childs that don't like anyone. Why would that be?"

"If I have to exclude British compliments and scones for you two ("Three, England. I'm still here, eh.") to eat, then you have to exclude the side comments."

"Fine, fine, my short-tempered friend."

...

"So do you guys want to go too?"

"Where, aru?"

"To Narnia, of course!"

"Yong Soo," Hong Kong sighed. "Narnia doesn't exist."

"It does too! Even Japan agrees with me. And Japan's real smart. But not as smart as me, of course. Intelligence originated in Korea."

"I thought you said stupidity originated in Japan." Hong Kong said.

"Japan was being sarcastic, Korea." China explained while Hong Kong muttered, "You should know Korea, that originated from you too. Besides, a part of Italy isn't hiding in the back of English wardrobes, aru. Even if he's really scared of the gorgeous England ("IGGY!") and was in the closet, he would at least be hiding in one of Germany's. Besides we would see him, not go to part of his country, aru."

"But it's really there! You guys try!"

"Korea, we can see the back of the wardrobe from here. There's wood." Hong Kong said.

"See! Woods! Covered in sno-"

"No, 'wood', no s, not 'woods' with an s."

"Oh…" Korea whispered, turning around to check and also wondering why they were speaking English.

"You've made some pretty screwed up ways to get our attention. And I've got to say, this is the thirty-first worse yet, aru." China scolded his little brother harshly, and then left with Hong Kong, leaving behind a very confused and bewildered South Korea.

...

*There's a city in Italy called Narni.

Thank-you for reading my first fanfiction story! And crossover. Anyways, please review. Blah blah blah.

~Xandra


	2. Chapter 2

The Bear, the Caucasian, and in the Closet

a.k.a. - How the East Asian Brothers Ended Up in 'Narnia'

...

(Full) Summary: (Please ignore how many eras they are in at the same time) A screwed up Narnia Hetalia crossover. Young South Korea finds a wardrobe England put in China's house. Read as he and his brothers venture into the mystical land of Soviet Russia. Did I say Russia? I meant Narnia. There they meet other countries, er, magical creatures, and fight against the evil forces of the Caucasian Witch.

Includes: Racist thoughts, bad language, and insulting stereotypes. But if you didn't like this kind of stuff already, you wouldn't be reading this fanfiction, now would you?

I think this is mostly book–verse. But I do have some movie references, and sometimes use the movie plot–line.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here but what the not-owned-by-me characters say. And not even all of that. If I did, would it be on fanfiction? I don't think so.

...

As told by: Professor Arthur Kirkland

To a certain 'darling' child. In hope you will finally learn the importance of a family sticking together. And finally pay me back that money you owe me, bloody wanker!

...

Chapter 2: What Yong Soo Found There

While he was in the wardrobe, South Korea did indeed find a magical land full of wonderful surprises. He had pushed passed a few coats to see how far 'in the closet' he could go, and was stunned by how 'deep' it was. You wouldn't have guessed this from the outside. As he went 'farther in', he noticed it was getting much colder - to the point where he could see his own breath. By this time, Korea was obviously starting to worry. As the 'curious' lad he was he pressed on, even after he stepped in what seemed to be a wet patch of snow. He pushed aside the last coat to see he was no longer surrounded by the 'walls' of the wardrobe, but by trees and snow.

"Mansae! Snow!" South Korea shouted, jumping up and down, and then started to roll around in it. But after a few seconds of flamboyant and spontaneous fun, Korea began to think (even if he's Korean, he's still Asian). How is it possible to end up in a land of winter and snow through a wardrobe of summer and sun? He sat up, when he saw an out of place lamppost. Why would there be a lamppost in the middle of a forest where there were no houses or streets? Walking towards it, he noticed someone, who despite the snow and cold, had decided to go about shirtless. In fact, he was only wearing a red scarf. 'What is only wearing that scarf supposed to do?' he thought inquisitively. As he got even closer, he noticed something else very particular. The man had hooves for feet, and furry brown legs. And it was definitely not just leg hair.

"Aaaaaah!" shouted South Korea.

The sudden noise caused the strange creature to also scream, and drop the packages and umbrella he was holding. While Yong Soo hid badly behind the lamppost, the young what-cha-ma-call-it picked up and hid behind his open umbrella. Slowly, the two looked up at each other.

"What are you?" they asked in unison.

"Why, I'm a country," said Korea. "South Korea, where all has originated."

"A country? And you are not yet part of the Soviet Union?"

"No, I'm Asian!"

"Asian?"

"Can't you see my eyes?"

"True. Well I am Toris, a faun from the land of Lithu - no, Russ - uh…Narnia. Yes, Narnia."

"Narnia?"

"Yeah, which means you should-" Toris said, and pulled out a piece of paper, 'You should come over to my place. W-we have, uh, candy, and cakes, and tea, and-'"

"Did you know that tea originated in Korea?"

"I had not-"

"But the Japanese invented lying. I will give him credit for that."

"But I wasn't lying! There really is candy, cake, and tea!"

"I wasn't accusing you. My brother just denies that tea was my creation. He said something about China making it for him when he was little. But how does that work out when I'm so much older than them both?"

…

"Wait, so you didn't invent tea England?"

"No France, but I made it my own."

"I think I made it my own during the Boston Tea Party."

"Dressing up like a Native American and then flushing my tea down the toilet does not make it your own, you coffee drinker!"

"Did you just say coffee's name in vain? Big brother, watch your language."

"Maybe you should give him less, it seems to make him hyper active. Perrier should do the trick."

"The day I let my little brother touch your French crap is the day I let you give him a giant statue of a woman."

"What about Canada Dry, eh?"

"Shut up! Not onl-"

"England, who were you talking to?"

"…I don't know…"

"You know talking to your ima-"

"I've had it with these bloody interruptions! You two shut up or I'll go Britannica angel on you."

"I'd love that, mon amour."

"…"

"…"

"Wow, you guys are acting a lot like me right now. Is there something wrong, eh?"

…

After picking up the dropped parcels, Yong Soo and Toris trudged through the snow to the faun's place. Sharing an umbrella, young Korea fell in love with Narnia. As he gazed upon the sparkling snow, the stiff and upright trees and the gorgeous landscape, he forgot how cold and wet he was and did not notice he was hugging a naked (though his lower half was covered by fur) man-faun-goat for warmth. Toris, however, did but was too shy to point this out to the Korean. He needed to focus on the task at hand. And he was kind of cold. He wasn't wearing a shirt after all.

The half kid, half kid ("Ha. Ha. Ha. Not funny,") led the other into his cavern of his home. There, they chatted over cups of tea and cake (Toris did lie about the candy). South Korea, for once, listened as the faun told him the stories of his land. How he and his brothers would dance and frolic, and how they would try to catch the white 'stag' to be granted a wish, and how the forest would look when it wasn't sparkling with snow but was a luscious green and full of life. Then, he played a pretty tune on his stabulé*. But after hours had passed, Yong Soo had finally realized it was getting late.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Toris, but I have to leave now. I must be missed by my brothers."

"It's too late now, isn't it?" a now sobbing faun chocked out.

"Don't cry, Mister! Crying didn't originate in Korea. Or Narnia."

But the young faun kept weeping and weeping until South Korea finally asked what was wrong.

"I am such a bad faun! Why must I do such terrible things to such kind people?"

"You aren't a bad faun, Mr. Toris. You're the best faun I've ever met!"

"I bet I'm the only faun you've ever met."

"That's true, but I bet after I meet other faun's you'll still be the nicest. Besides, you're much nicer than some countries I know."

"But you are yet to know what horrid things I have done. I have fallen under the service of the Caucasian Witch."

"The…Caucasian…Witch?"

"The Caucasian Witch is a horrid creature who keeps this land for in an eternal winter, while never reaching the hopes of Christmas."

"No Christmas? But that's basically all of the Hetalia specials. How do you survive?"

"Barely, with very little screen time. But that's not the point. The witch has orders that if someone is to find a country not yet one with the Soviet Union, they are to hand him or her over. There, they would take you a…gulag …and…" he trailed off.

"The horrid Caucasian and her minions took over my brothers and me. But I am much worse of a country then them. They have only pledged their ways to the witch. I have kidnapped a country and am to turn him over."

"Wow," an amazingly speechless Korea said. Slowly, he replied, "Though what you have done is pretty bad, I am sure-"

"No, it is not what I have done. I am taking a country as we speak. I am taking you."

"No one can take me over. Winning originated in Korea, not from Charlie Sheen."

"Of course I won't take you over. I must bring you back to your land. But as we go back we must be careful and quite. Spies are everywhere – even including some of the trees!"

The two dashed back as quietly as they could. The whole way there, Yong Soo chattered excitedly about how ninjas originated from Korea. The poor Lithuanian faun was awfully nervous and kept looking over his shoulder, because 'shhing' the other country just made him talk even louder. But suddenly, he got an idea.

"Did you know silence originated from Korea?"

And from that point on until they had once again reached the lamppost, Yong Soo stayed uncharacteristically quiet.

"This is where I'll leave you. Do you know how to get back from here?"

"Yep! I can see the closet from here."

"Do be careful. And please forgive me for my wrongdoings."

"Of course. Everyone will forget this incident in a few chapters. They'll be more focused on my little brother's screw ups."

"Good-bye, South Korea. I bid you farewell, and I hope you return to your family safely."

"Farewell to you too, Lithuania. You are truly the country where honesty originates from."

….

*A stabulé is a Lithuanian (and Latvian) instrument.

Aaaaaw! SO sweeeet!

Chapter 2 is done! Yay for me! This is probably the most I've ever written about anything. I usually get bored before I even get this far (note how long it took to upload this). Maybe I WILL finally finish something. But I am sad. None of Japan's side comments in this chapter (Though they are more like my side comments coming from Japan's mouth. And I like my side comments). There was not a single aru, either. Do you know how much fun it is to type aru, aru? Don't worry though, that's coming up in the next chapter. Thanks for reading my bull crap.

~Xandra


	3. Chapter 3

The Bear, the Caucasian, and in the Closet

a.k.a. - How the East Asian Brothers Ended Up in 'Narnia'

...

(Full) Summary: (Please ignore how many eras they are in at the same time) A screwed up Narnia Hetalia crossover. Young South Korea finds a wardrobe England put in China's house. Read as he and his brothers venture into the mystical land of Soviet Russia. Did I say Russia? I meant Narnia. There they meet other countries, er, magical creatures, and fight against the evil forces of the Caucasian Witch.

Includes: Racist thoughts, bad language, and insulting stereotypes. But if you didn't like this kind of stuff already, you wouldn't be reading this fanfiction, now would you?

I think this is mostly book–verse. But I do have some movie references, and sometimes use the movie plot–line.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here but what the not-owned-by-me characters say. And not even all of that. If I did, would it be on fanfiction? I don't think so.

...

Chapter 3: Kiku and the Wardrobe

Since getting told off by his siblings, Korea didn't talk as much. This worried and delighted his brothers, for his silence was very odd and must have meant something was wrong. Yet they seemed to enjoy themselves more without his constant stream of consciousness. For once, they were able to paint, watch anime (not Korean dramas), and read their fanfictions in peace. If this was the youngest' way of trying to get his brothers to apologize, it wasn't working very well.

But after a while, the Chinese two of the brothers did begin to feel sorry for Yong Soo, and so decided to try and cheer the young man up with a game of hide and seek. They even dragged Japan along just for the occasion. But as soon as Hong Kong started to count, the Korean ran off to hide in the wardrobe. This time Japan decided to follow him. After all he wanted to know why his brother had a strange fascination with England's wardrobe. Even though he did think that anything made by the sexy Brit was-

…

"Merci! What a marvelous story you're telling us, Arthur. And you wonder where young Alfred gets his arrogance from."

"Being the hero is not arrogance. It's reality."

"Come on you guys, let England finish his story. If we keep interrupting him, it will take him even longer to tell, eh. Plus-"

"Let. Me. Finish. The. Bloody. Story. You. Wankers."

"That's what I just said. Can't you guys hear me, eh?"

"No, England. Do you know who could tell the story better? Moi."

"You don't even know what happened!"

"And now what does that say about your storytelling?"

"It means that you're a –"

"I guess I'll have to tell the story to you, America. You fine with that, eh?"

"Huh? Did someone say something to me?"

"I didn't hear anything."

"Grr…"

"Sorry America, I got distracted by a certain French bastard. I'll continue where I left off."

…

Japan pushed through the same coats that Korea went through. He too wondered why getting to the back of the wardrobe took much longer than it should, and why it had suddenly gotten much chillier. Wouldn't it be stuffier in a wardrobe? After much pushing forward, Japan slipped and fell into a pile of snow. Bewildered, he looked around to find the place that his younger brother had described, though not the said sibling.

"Korea? Are you here too?" he asked, but not too loudly. He didn't know what creatures lived here. And the fact that his brother got along with them made him even more wary.

"Yong Soo? It's Japan." Kiku used the other country's real name, (But not his own. It was a girl's name after all.) in hope to instill a sense of happiness in his brother. Maybe then he would reply.

But with no such luck, the Japanese man set out to find the Korean so he could explain to him what just happened.

'He's probably just ignoring me because he was banned from the anime. Like that was my fault! His people just don't know how to take an offensive joke,' he thought while shivering. His feet were numb and turning blue for most Asians don't wear shoes in the house. 'I better find him quick or I'm going to lose my feet.'

He was just about to turn back when he heard bells jingling as if they were on a sleigh. He looked about, and soon saw a reindeer drawn sled appeared from the trees. Steering the sleigh was a silver haired man, dressed in a navy military uniform and with a peculiar looking yellow bird flying around his head. Also riding in the sleigh, was a pretty women who was even shorter than the Asian himself, with long blonde hair and blue eyes so dark, they were nearly as soulless as his own. Dressed in a black dress, apron, and white crown, she held a short knife as if it were a wand. She also wore a blank face, though at the same time you could tell there as something she wanted just out of reach.

The woman told the driver to stop the sled, for she had spotted Japan. "And who are you?"

"J-Japan," the nervous man said. He had never seen a white woman before. He only had met a few white males before, like myself ("And me!" shouted two other countries), but never before a woman. He was mesmerized.

"Do not address the ruler of the Soviet Union with such disrespect."

"The Soviet Union? So that wardrobe really was a way into Russia's."

"…I meant Narnia. Yes Narnia. Anyways, you said your name was Japan. So you are brothers with that faggot who my brother wants to become one with."

Japan snickered at the word faggot, but could not answer the lady's question.

…

This was a very short chapter. And sorry it takes me so long to update. I have to sneak online while my mother is knocked out on her sleeping pills to do this. And that doesn't even happen until two in the morning! But as schools finally out the next chapter should be up shortly.

For those of you that actually read this, review! Or die. Somehow.

~Xandra


	4. Chapter 4

The Bear, the Caucasian, and in the Closet

a.k.a. - How the East Asian Brothers Ended Up in 'Narnia'

Chapter 4: Timbits

"Answer me, are you brothers with that fag or not?"

"Uh, which one?"

"The one with the squinty eyes."

"Which one with the squinty eyes?"

"...The one that got in the anime."

"Ah, China. Uh…well he says we're brothers but I don't -"

"Poor Japan, you look so cold. And your feet look like they're about to fall off. Want to join me in my sleigh?"

"…No thanks, I'll just take my -"

"Join me, Japan," the other said so firmly that Kiku obliged though it could have something to do with her stern glare and how hard she was clenching her knife.

"Don't you think I should get some screen time, or at least some lines? England took the trouble to describe me in the last chapter, but nothing else."

"You weren't supposed to say anything in this chapter either, you useless piece of shit!"

"Sorry you don't recognize my awesomeness, Queen Belarus."

"Sorry no one does, fucker."

…

"Are you seriously having them break the fourth wall again, England? And you call this accurate."

"And what was that thing about a chapter, eh? Aren't you just telling us the story?"

"And what does shit mean? Or fucker?"

"Uh…I guess I just continue where I left off…"

…

By this time, Japan was sitting on the sled with the supposed royal, and was far from comfortable. Other than the strange conversation implying that they were all fictional characters in a British story, there was also the strange woman taking the liberty to inch quite closer to him than he would like, and you know how the Japanese are with their space issues.

"Anyways, Japan, how are you?" Belarus's voice changed from extremely aggravated and angry to a sickly sweet in the matter of second. "You still look really cold." She scooted over even more, draping her arm around the Asian country. Though he was indeed getting warmer, he felt very uncomfortable and didn't think he could ask a woman (especially one he had just met) to take responsibility. So, he just hunched his shoulders, as if trying to make himself appear even smaller.

"How did you come into my land, Japan?"

"Through a wardrobe England put in my brother's house during colonization."

The shorter lady gave him a strange look. "I don't get it either, but…"

"So, would you like a hot drink to warm those blue toes of yours?"

"Not really." And so a cup of what seemed to be butter beer ("Not another reference to one of your stories England!") appeared with a wave of her knife, which was handed it to Honda-sama.

"I could also give you anything food you would like. How about some Toly-Boms, Treacle Fudge, ('Ugh!') or Turkish Delight?"

"Could I have some timbits?"

"What the fuck are timbits?"

"They're like the inside of a donut hole only better."

"That's crazy talk. Why would anyone want to eat the inside of a donut?"

"It's Canadian!"

"It's what? Canadanadana?" ("They don't even know me in the story, eh? Why aren't you guys answering? Oh right, stupid question, eh.")

"Actually I don't know either…but they're delicious! And they're not as messy as donuts, you can just pop them right into your mouth."

"I don't think I can make something that ridiculous. How about something else, like Turkish Delight?"

"No, I'm allergic to that stuff."

"Fine then, timbits it is." And with a wave of her knife, a platter of timbits appeared, which Japan promptly nommed up.

"You see Japan, as a country, I cannot truly reproduce," the Belarusian started caressing his chewing cheeks. "If I were to perish like the albino child over there without truly becoming one with Mother Russia, I would need an heir to take over the throne. You seem like a wonderful young country for the job."

"Lady, I'm older than you by millenniums. And can you stop touching me?"

"No."

"Uh…" the poor Japanese boy tried to reply, but was cut off.

"But, of course you would have to bring your siblings with you," she said, cuddling the other like he was a teddy bear. Or a baby panda.

"W-w-why?" asked a stuttering Honda, too afraid to object. The lady was still holding a knife after all. He tried to distract himself by eating more timbits.

"We need all to become one with Mother Russia, da?"

"S-s-sure. Just let me go now. Please." By now the timbits were finished, and Japan was getting Korea flashbacks. Not a good sign.

"Just bring them to my house, or else. It's over there. Very helpful. Now scram you Jap, and if you come back alone, I'll hug you."

"What?"

"Nothing… Good-bye my comrade!"

After scrambling off the sleigh, he watched the albino dwarf (who was ironically taller than him) lead the reindeer and Queen away. With the relief that the dialogue was finally over, he was coming back to his not so good senses. By now, the shock of a real girl coming on to him had worn off.

'Damn, her eyes were so huge…'

"Mansae! Japan! Japan!" an ever so excited Korea ran from behind and glomped him. And tried to grab his breasts. But learning from experience, Japan quickly escaped from his disgraceful brother's hold.

"You got into Narnia too! This is almost better than a Korean drama! Isn't it wonderful?"

"Uh, sure. Where have you been?"

"With Mr. Toris!"

"Who?" Japan asked while thinking, 'Ah fuck, not more dialogue.'

"The Lithuanian faun I met on the last visit. If you guys hadn't have interrupted me before, you would have known. Anyways I had such a wondrous time, mostly because he wasn't caught."

"Caught?"

"For helping another country not become one with Mother Russia, you get pretty much screwed over, whipped, and a lot of other kinky stuff Mr. Toris told me about that I didn't understand. There's this evil Caucasian witch, who wishes that she's the Queen of Narnia, but really isn't."

"Kinky?" Japan asked, a perverted smile creeping across his face which is much like L's when he says 'Justice will prevail.' Maybe he should go to dear old Bela's house alone.

"What poor Mr. Toris described was even worse than some your porno."

"Wow."

"But come on! We must tell the others," the Korean then dragged the Japanese back through the armoire and to their brothers' room.

…

Oh dear sweet Jesus, this is the most messed up thing I've ever written so far. And that's putting things very lightly. Of course there are much worse things written on this site already.

Can you believe that the word timbits is also not considered spelled correct on Microsoft Word? The horror. But maybe it's because I have the language set an US English and not Canadian English.

Do you know how fun it is to say and type Lithuanian? Lithuanian, Lithuanian, Lithuanian. It's even more fun than saying Canadanadana. Whatever that is.

~Xandra


End file.
